Which makes a better pet: A dog or a cat? – Part 8

Cats will kill all humans if nothing is done.

If the three Greyhounds sitting behind me could speak this is probably what they’d say.

“We talked about it around the hydrant this morning and well we suggest that you make it a strong case for the dogs otherwise every shoe you own, every toilet roll, every piece of comfort you call your own will be defiled, destroyed or disintigrated as tommorows chew toy…. and you wouldn’t want that to happen would you?”

It is my firm opinion that Cats will kill all humans eventually!

Cats have nothing to offer to Humans which is redeeming.

Lets think it through rationally.

They aren’t loyal.

They don’t come when called unless your feeding them and then sometimes they still don’t.

They won’t do tricks.

They create a non stop racket of meowing and hissing.

They go out all night on the prowl.

They create a non stop source of fish breath and furballs.

They immitate and simulate the wearing of fur coats! (How politically incorrect is that!)

When they do decide to park themselves near you for adoration it’s completely their adoration not yours.

Cats need their backs stroked all the time.

Cats have seemingly no respect for their Human carers. Most human cat fanciers will be sporting scars from where their pet cat has mercilessly and with evil intent raised sharpened their disease ridden claws to them. If a dog did this it wouldn’t see the light of day… but no it’s ok for cats.

Cats defy any rules set down for pets generally see the above point for further clarification.

Cats are aloof, they have nasty sharp claws and of course these are always kept razor sharp in case your coming around the corner. They are like a pet edward scissor hands just waiting for an accident to happen.

Cats are fraudulent in their employment. They get the job as the mouse catcher and then within weeks the mice are everywhere. Does the Cat care nope. Wheres the pride in their work?

Cats have the capability to carry many diseases. Whilst the jury is still out some animals think that this is on purpose.

Cats cannot run anywhere near as fast or with as much style as a dog especially Greyhounds. Cats are slow, only care about walking on imposible stuff like fencing and when they do fall they defy gravity which is illegal in the eyes of nature.

Cats very generally smell like the inside of a week old sardine tin and then make everything else smell like that.

When cats do decide to sit with you, it’s generally on you and in particular it’s on your head, mouth, face especially when your trying breathe and even more so when your completely asleep.

Wake up people the Cats are trying to kill you! What more proof do you need? Just look at Lions they do it all the time!

Cats once ruled the world. Don’t believe me see egyptian history. What decisions did they make whilst in power?

They made their Human slaves build big carved statues of them hundreds of feet high. How dispicable!

Dogs would never do this. They would have built an abundance of small hydrants within leg distance everywhere and I say which world would you rather live in?

One dominated by the evil disease carrying, hissing, razor sharp clawed, meowing, pilchard eating, Human killing Cat?

Or the loyal, faithful, ever loving, sweet gentle, Dog.

Ladies and gentlemen I rest my case.

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