The best dog breeds for lazy people

There is only one logical choice as a pet dog for the lazy individual, and that is the English Bulldog. I know this simple truth for I am lazy, and I have had the experience of life with this creature. One could go into an in depth discussion of the variable breeds that would compliment a lazy lifestyle. However, since I am indeed lazy, I would rather draw from my past experiences and present the reasons why I believe the English Bulldog is the only commonsensical choice:

1. Just look at the dog, what about that animal does not say “I am quite surely a lazy dog?” The belly and tank-like shape of its body resemble the physique of a robust individual who would rather enjoy a nice steak versus a walk around the block. One should not judge by appearances alone, but if the owner wishes to exude his lifestyle of laziness then the English Bulldog will exemplify that persona to all outside observers.

2. Breathing is obviously a bit difficult for this dog. The guttural grunts made audible during respiration make this fact self evident when you are in the presence of the beast. The culprit is said to be the elongated palate caused by the anatomy of its muzzle and lower jaw. If an English Bulldog cannot breathe then it surely will not be able to exercise strenuously or for long periods of time, which is right up my alley.

3. During a hot, humid day, the lazy individual only desires to lounge on a couch in an air conditioned enclosure with a cold drink in hand. These very conditions are a medical necessity for an English Bulldog on such a day. This breed is more prone to heat stroke therefore it is the lazy man’s duty as a dog owner to limit activity on especially hot and humid days.

4. Along with the need to limit activity with hot weather, it is advised that the English Bulldog should be limited more than most dogs with exposure to extremely cold weather. That sounds like a perfectly good reason not to make your dog, or yourself for that matter, get out of bed on a cold, winter morning.

5. Another justification for reducing physical activity could be made in reference to the number of joint and structural ailments to which English Bulldogs are prone. The scientific reasoning for this can be easier assessed by my earlier comments about “the belly and tank-like shape of its body.”

6. There are varying reports concerning the true intelligence of the English Bulldog, and out of kindness to the breed and to fellow owners, I do not want to make the statement that English Bulldogs are dumb. But I would not say that in all instances they are the sharpest knife in the drawer. In terms of laziness, this quality can be of an advantage to the owner simply by placing a random object in front of the dog to keep him busy. In case you are wondering, keeping him busy does involve and is most likely limited to either eating the object or chewing on it until he falls asleep.

As one lazy human being to another lazy human being, my experiences have showed me that the English Bulldog values the same existence that we hold so dearly; to simply eat, drink, nap, and recline, all while doing so in an appropriately air conditioned environment.

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